Loveable handfuls

My two older brothers (and their prospective partners) blessed the family by having one son and five daugthers between them, the first being born when I was 16. 
In the early years I was the dutiful uncle, always on hand to babysit and quite often the foundation in an uncle/child tower.

But in those early days (the kids are aged 12-22 now) it was always my uncle duties, and playing, that were at the forefront of my mind.  I never really paid any thought to actually parenting them, afterall that was what their parents are for.  This whole adoption process has obviously made us think about what kind of parents we would be and how we would parent, so it was a real test/eye-opener when we went out for the day with my younger brother's children and their mother.  They have two young boys aged 2 and 4 who are both totally cute and loveable but have bundles and bundles of energy, not at all uncommon I'm sure.  Although we weren't looking after them by ourselves it was a real lesson in looking after two young energetic kids.

We went to Farmyard Funworld, which in itself is an activity that we would never normally be part of our weekend.  As we walked around about the farmyard animals and play activities we both smiled at each other in the knowledge that very soon this could soon be very much part of our weekend and in the not too distant future.  By the time we got home I was knackered but loved every single minute.

Babies, babies everywhere!

Have you ever had one of those moments, like when you buy a new car and then you see the same car every where you go, or when someone says something you've never heard before and then notice that everyone says it?  Well that's like me and babies are like at the moment, they are EVERYWHERE!!!

Not that it's a bad thing, not at all.  It's actually a great thing.  Maybe it's that time of my life but everyone has kids or is having kids.
Lucky we have so much support from people willing us to be parents that we are getting lots of hints and tips.  A lot of my friends right now are first time mothers so hearing how reality has actually hit them is quite eye-opening.

I spent a fair bit of time with my friend 'R' and her 9 month old daugther 'B' yesterday and it was great.  Baby B spent most of the time sitting on my lap and playing with me which freed her mother up to chat with her friend who was also there.  When she got a little grizzly (that's B not R) I took her off for a little walk.  Whilst it was obviously clear  that Baby B wasn't my child I still felt a sense of fatherly pride as I walked around with her cuddling her and easing her grizzly mood.

Then this morning whilst checking my Facebook I noticed a status update and a link on another friends profile.  It read "Ten things nobody tells you pre children".  On further investigation I discovered her excellent blog.  I loved reading her ten things and it definately echoed a lot of the things R told me.  Here is her blog.
http://www.bubbababble.blogspot.co.uk/

Thank god we've got such a fantastic network of great 'experienced' friends.  You all know who are and you know you'll be getting lots of phonecalls once little gets here!

Feel better!!

Our session was cancelled this week as our social worker was sick.  We'd already decided that she is probably pretty dedicated to her job so she must have been really ill to cancel one of our session.

The assessment process so far as been pretty speedy so I suppose we shouldn't really complain too much but it just makes you think how easily things could get delayed.  I suppose it gives us just that little bit longer to finish our 'homework'.  Our next appointment is due for another four weeks so if we manage to fit another on in we'll be back on track.

No more avoiding the issue

Yesterday was our third (three hour) session with our social worker and so far things are going along quite nicely.  We have one more session next week and then nothing for a month.  As it is we are getting quite a bit of 'homework' after each visit including creating genograms and chronological list of previous address, jobs and key events in our lives to date. Who knows what we'll get after the next visit.
One thing for sure is that we are going to have to look into our finances.  I understand the reasons behind it but to have someone routing through our spending habits is going to be a bitter pill to swallow.  It is the only part of the process that scares me as if we don't meet their expectations it could delay or even terminate proceedings.  That would be totally devastating.

So now it's unavoidable and we have to face the elephant in the room.  It's time for super scrimping, paying off debts and generally being frugal and keep an eye on those purse strings.  Let's put this into prospective though, we are no way at poverty's door but I don't think I could ever forgive myself if finance was the only reason we were refused.

We were given the exact date we are expected to go to panel so we have a very clear goal.  'Anything it takes' is the mantra we have to live by for the next six months at least.  Save money now, rich in love later.

It's not that bad....yet!

Yesterday we had the second of sessions with our social worker, so the assessment is well and truly underway. 

In the first session we set the plan for the assessment period and were even told when, providing everything goes to plan, we will be going to panel.  Panel, is where you become approved as an adoption.  It consists of about 12 people who go through the report our social worker has put together and make the decision whether to approve us or not.  With that in mind we have put in place 10 meetings where we will both meet with the social worker and one for each of us individually to meet and populate all of the boxes on the extensive report.

I have to say, I was expecting the assessment meetings to more like facing a German war general before being thrown into a concentration camp but so far it hasn't been that bad.  If truth be known it's actually been more like a trip down memory lane.  We've been taking about our childhoods and our early memories of our families.  It's surprising how much you remember and how talking about things unlocks so many other suppressed memories, memories of family squabbles, bad outfits and handed-down toys.  She also had to go through all of our papers, birth certificates, passports, NI cards, you name it.  They even want to see proof of my car insurance cover!!  I'm sure the questions will get more probing and even more personal as the assessment goes on but for now I'm wondering what all the fuss was about.  Ooops!  Have I spoken to soon? Probably!

So, we have one more session next week and then a 3 week break.  We have been incredibly lucky.  Some of the people we met on our prep group still haven't even met their social worker and I know it's been extremely frustrating for them.  Here's hoping that our speedy progress continues.  If everything moves at this pace we'll be a family of three in no time.