Frustration and love

I think we were definitely lulled into a false sense of security.  The first few weeks of Little One's placement made us feel like we finally made it, become and family and missed out all of the crap that we were promised.  Doh! Reality check!!!

We're having more strops and tantrums of late.  The current bone of contention is the scooter a friend of ours gave to her.  I always thought those scooters were meant to be a godsend to parents but this one seems to be channeling the devil!  Yesterday I was planning a trip to the park with Little One and the dog but there was a battle of wills when I attempted to put the scooter into the boot of the car.  This led to the biggest screaming match I've ever experienced.  Of course I won, but it was a long noisy battle and one I don't fancy fighting again although I'm sure I will have to.  I had the obligatory "I don't like you" and "I want my other daddy" thrown at me but you have to be the bigger person in those moments.  It's weird, I always though I'd be the fun dad, not the bossy one!

This morning was not a morning of good behaviour either.  I have to confess, I did end up shouting.  Although I didn't like doing it (and neither did she), it had the desired effect and we managed to get ready with minimum fuss and in record time.  Later, while I was doing her hair I felt compelled to apologise to her for shouting, something that my father would never have done to me, and she in return said "I'm sorry Dad".  But then, not more than 10 minutes later as we were about to leave for pre-school we had another tantrum about that blasted scooter.  Full on screaming and full on tears!

This is in no way as 'easy' as I thought it was going to be.  After the initial 'honeymoon' period the roller coaster really picks up pace.  The highs can be high and the lows can be low and you can get between them really quickly.   It's not always as Disney-like as I thought it would be, maybe a little more Simpsons, but that doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying being a father.  It's just really hard work, but any parent will tell you that.  I'm hoping this can all be put down to the fact that she is still settling in and is actually finding her place and testing her boundaries.  We'll get through it and come out the other side stronger.  We do have frustrating  moments but they are all surrounded with love and hugs and laughter.....not to mention a glass of wine once Little One is in bed!!