We're getting there

Isn't funny how time races away from you when life is busy?  Even at the moment, we don't even have a little one to run around after, but there never seems to be enough time.  I meant to write an entry last weekend but I suppose it's better late than never!!!

Last Saturday we met up with some of the member of our prep group in Central London.  It was the first time we'd seen any of them since the workshops finished in February although we've mostly stayed in contact via email.  I don't think anyone knew how it would go as, in reality, we didn't really know each other but the conversation flowed easily and it was really interesting hearing about everyone's process and experiences.  I really bonded with L, even at prep group, and now that we learned that we will be sharing our social worker there is an even stronger bond.  It was great to be able to share some of the things we have experienced with her and let her know our thoughts about our social worker.  Luckily, our thoughts were good ones and compared with some of the experiences the others have had we were in an excellent position.  And talking of positions, it appears that we are further into the process than anyone else.  Now I know this isn't a race (if anything this is the hardcore training before the long race) but to have people who are in the exact same boat smile at you and say, "You could be the first to be placed with a child" was quite something.  I had to use all the will power I had just to stop myself from getting too excited.
I also enjoyed chatting with J & A.  A is a funny fella and has lots of similar ideas( wacky as they may be) to me.  We also learnt that one prep group couple had decide not to proceed with the adoption.  It just goes to show that this process isn't for everyone, only those who are really determined. 


On a lighter note, we had a trip to IKEA on Sunday and bought a new wardrobe so we could start to clear out the spare room for little one.  Whilst there we ticked a few things off our 'health and safety list' as provided by our social worker and bought a Sun light-shade, the first step on transforming the spare room into a kiddies room.

Learning lessons

We are firmly into the second week of our holiday and this week we have seen more of Little G's ups and downs which is all good considering the amount of time she has spent in this endless heat with 5 adults. On Sunday night we took her out for the evening while her parents went off for some romantic alone time. It's a great honour that they feel they can trust us enough to leave her in our company and enjoy themselves. The plan was to go for a Chinese meal and hit the fun fair that Little G had spotted a few days earlier. She was also mega excited because it meant that she could wear her little Chinese dress, and she looked lovely in it. The only problem was that the fun fair was on the way to the restaurant so there was no escape. We gave little G a three ride limit and promised that we could come back after dinner. She managed to wangle at least six out of us. She was brilliant throughout dinner and the promise of going back to the fun fair meant we had an almost clean plate. After dinner and back at the fun fair little G managed another three rides plus 10 minutes on the trampoline. Then on the way home we found another bouncy castle/trampoline combo on which she spent 20 minutes. I'm knackered just thinking about it. Yesterday we all visited the local water park and fun was had by all, however upon return to the villa the smallest of incidents sparked an enormous (what felt like never ending) tantrum/crying episode. It must be hard and quite traumic as a parent to see your child in that much of a state but it left David and I thinking how we would react in such a situation. I know we have our ideas but in the harsh light of reality I wonder how we will behave? I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. On an excited note we get back home in a few days and it's off to IKEA and the prep for little one's new bedroom is due to begin. First step, a wardrobe for our room and then turning the spare room into a child-friendly zone. Ooh, I love a project!

Beach baby

I haven't written in a while mainly due to the fact that there hasn't really been a vast ampunt to write about. We've had more meeting going over not too dissimilar topics so although we are getting closer to the end date not very much seems to be changing for us. I suppose the main things are: 1) We asked my cousin if she would be guardian in the event that anything should happen to the both of us once little on is placed. Luckily (and thankfully) she was more than happy to and excitedly accepted which is great. This all took place at her daughter's third birthday bash on Broadstairs Beach. Little one is going to be so lucky when he/she meets their cousins, on all sides. 2) The interviews have begun with the referees which is also very exciting. The first was David best friend. We had no idea what to expect but he seemed to cope ok and wasn't too scarred by the process 3) We've been given the mission of sorting out Little one's bedroom. At the moment it's mostly used as a massive wardrobe come laundry room come storage. We were informed that before panel we would have a "second opinion" visit form a social worker we haven't meet yet so we have to get things spot on, You may have noticed that there is no picture for this entry, that's because I am typing this beside the pool on holiday in Turkey!! We are holidaying with friends and the gorgeous little 'G' as we did last year. We love spending time with her and babysit ( although she's not really a baby!) while her parents go off and have some time on their own. It's really quite weird to think that the next time we all holiday together we could be looking after our own little one. Weird but a lovely feeling.

Happy Father's Day

As we slowly woke up this morning and sat in bed drinking tea and coffee I couldn't help but think about how life could be a year from now!  We could be celebrating our first Father's Day, like all of the first time dads that I know.
I took the dog out for a walk and bumped into my downstairs neighbour and his son getting ready for a bike and I couldn't help but smile as the young son announced "Me and my daddy are going to ride our bikes."

I've been compelled to send out various Father's Day wishes on Facebook today and even phone my own Dad is St Lucia although they don't celebrate Father's Day on the same day.

I'm sure everyday with your child is special, but on THIS special day I'm even more eager to our welcome little.

The Guardian (not the newspaper)

We had another visit the other day, only four more to go!!! Three over the next three weeks and the final one, yes, the FINAL one just after we get back from holiday.  It'll be nice to close this chapter of our journey feeling refreshed.  Still more chapters to go though.

So, in our last visit we finished talking about our pasts and our childhood experience and finally moved on to the present day and the future!! Hooray!!!  The main job was building our 'Eco-gram' or support network.  It was actually fun to do and a good reminder of the friends and support we actually do have.  Our SW also gave us a heads-up as to what our next visit would entail.  Next Friday she'll her with her clip board doing her health and safety check.  No doubt there will be a long list of little jobs that need to be completed to make the flat safe and child-friendly (not that it isn't already!!!)
She's also going to take a look at little one's bedroom and make some recommendations.  At the moment it's a spare-room-come-walk-in-wardrobe so I'm sure she'll have lots to say.

On a more serious note we also discussed briefly the making of will.  Very scary and grown up.  But most thought provoking was the discussion around nominating a guardian for little one just in case something happens to us both.  That got us thinking and lucky we both came to the same conclusion.  Let's just hope our intended agrees.

Seeing the plus as well as the minus

Yet again it's been a little while between posts and that is because pretty much nothing has happened apart from having another meeting cancelled and our approval panel date set back by a month because of the Olympics of all things.  Our social worker agency is based right next to the Olympics village and it appears it is going to effect all aspects of their work.  It's really annoying as we were so excited about our panel date and the prospect of meeting our little one.  But now things are going to be delayed and the poor little cherub will be spending at least an extra month in a foster home bonding with someone else.  Surely that isn't fair, on any one.  I know they are doing their best as their priority has always got to be the child but sometimes it makes you wonder.  Our next meeting with our social worker is next Monday so let's hope something fantastic happens.
On the plus side though I suppose it does give us an extra month to make sure we are even more ready than we think we are.  This must be what it feels like when an expectant mother is overdue.

We went to the fun fair with some friends yesterday and won a little purple monster, the latest addition to little one's fluffy friends.  Freddie now joins Bertie, Rudolph, Worth, and Mr Strong.

Who knows how big the entourage will get to by the time little one gets here.  The good thing is that when we finally get to do our live story book little one will have lots of smiling friends waving back at them.

.....and on, and on, and on, and......

I can't believe it's been a month since my last entry, where did the time go.  It's been a weird month in terms of this process as, I suppose, lots has happened but nothing really major.

The biggest thing has been the solo interviews that we both had last week.  It made us both quite nervous beforehand as neither of us really had much of a clue as to what we were going to face. We've always seen the social worker together so this was totally new territory.

In fairness it wasn't actually as bad as I thought it was going to be.  Our social worker was probably more embarrassed asking the questions then I was answering them.  It was a very personal session focused on our relationship and 'intimacy', normally you'd only really discuss those kind of things with really close friends or after a good few drinks.

We've been doing lots of work on our finances of late and we were a little worried that our panel date might get delayed as our social worker had mentioned that our finances were of a slight concern to her.  Anyway, at my solo visit our social worker told me that the panel had to bring the date forward a week.  I'm hoping that as she mentioned this and the new date is now in our diary we won't be put back to a later panel date.

We managed to get together with the local couple (I wrote them about previously) and their little boy last weekend.  It was lovely to see their little family unit and although the little one was a bit shy around us you could see just how happy and content he was and how proud of him his Dad and Daddy were.  It was great chatting with them and once again, they gave me hope for our future.  I really hope we become great friends and our children get to play together.

Since our social worker mentioned the little girl my mind has been playing all sorts of tricks on me.  I used to dream of us and our son but now I never knew who I'm going to dream about when I drift off to sleep but I do know that little one gets here we're going to love them no matter who they are.

Not that I'm counting but it's 14 weeks until approval panel.  There is still a bit of work to do but I know our social worker is on our side and despite her heavy workload I know she's doing her best to make sure we get there on time but in the meantime, it's more visits and more homework!  Whoop whoop!!!!!!