Merry Christmas little one

As we prepare for a lovely Christmas with the in-laws in Ireland there is just one present missing. Our Little One.

Luckily this morning we were able to 'Skype' Little One this morning and watch her open the present we gave her.

At least this is the last Christmas we'll be spending without her and it won't be long until she is home.

Merry Christmas Little One. xx

Parting is such sweet sorrow

Oh my goodness!  Such a lovely day was had today.  As we arrived at Little One's residence we were greeted with a big warm smile and a hug for each of us.  I couldn't help but smile as I stroked Little One's wild mane of hair.  I know it's only been a couple of days but the fact that she was so excited to see us was such a warm relief.  It wasn't long before she was sitting on Daddy's lap and chatting away.

Then we had lunch with little one sat between Daddy and I.  She giggled as we pulled faces at her whilst she demolished her chicken wings.

We then to a trip to the library with little one's foster mother.  Daddy had the honour of Little One holding his hand all the way there and back.  Knowing him as I do I'd say this was one of his proudest moment in a very long time.  I even got to do the obligatory 'girl on dad's shoulders' routine.  I loved that too, a proud moment for me!

All too soon though our visit was coming to an end.  We must have said 'We should be going' about 10 times.  The most treasured moment came just as we left.  After numerous hugs and 'see you soon's Little one was sat on the stairs holding the introduction book we made for her, and  just as the front door she said to her foster mother 'My daddies are going'.  Our hearts totally melted, they are still all over the floor.

We've had two amazing meetings with Little One, the bitter pill is that we now have to wait two weeks until we will meeting her again.  But when we do it'll be the final stretch and Little One will be on her way home.

Love at first sight?

On the way to meet our little one for the very first time we were stuck in a massive traffic jam and as a result were 40 minutes late.  Not only were we anxious about the meeting but I also hate being late.  This was not turning out the way I was hoping.

That was until we got there....

Little one was a huge ball of excitement and fun and smiles.  We had anticipated awkward moments of her hiding behind her foster mother or crying as we tried to talk to her but there was none of that.  Instead she was happily cooking on her toy kitchen and giving us samples of her toils.  Her foster mother would say 'Give that to daddy' or 'Give this to dad' and little one knew just who to give it to.  It was slightly overwhelming to know that she only knows us as her dad and daddy!

Little one took the two of us up to her bedroom where she found yet more toys to show us one of which was the Learning Bus.  She would point to a particular button and say 'Push that'.  We did, and it played 'The Wheels on the Bus'.  Right there, we shared our first sing song as a family.  We all sang and clapped and smiled.  A treasured moment.

We took some photos and little one happily sat between me and daddy and smile and posed.  Our first photos as a family.  Another treasured moment.

Pretty soon it was time to go home and this was the only moment we saw anything other than her lovely smiley face.  It seemed that she didn't want us to go.  As I asked for a goodbye hug little one said no and hid behind her foster mother.  That only lasted for a moment, I soon got my hug and daddy got one without even asking.

So we said our goodbyes and headed off.  If I'm honest I don't think I've thought of anything else since.  We have met our daughter and she is truly scrumptious!  Roll on the next meeting on Friday, let's hope it's another good one.

It's the final countdown...da da da da!!

Dare we dream to believe that in one month's time little one will be at home, with us, and we'll be a family.

In the meantime it's only a 4 day wait until we meet her for the first time.  I'm pretty sure that this will be the longest 4 days we've had to endure for some time.  We know so much about little one but to actually meet her, in the flesh, is going to be a totally different kettle of fish.  What will she think of us?  Will she have any understanding of who we are and what this means for her?  What if hates us!

We were warned not to expect too much on the first day but how amazing would it be if little one gave us both a big smile and a big hug as we walked in the room.  And how mind blowing would it be if she were to refer to us as Dad and Daddy.  But like I said, dare we dream to believe.  I suppose we'll find out soon enough.

We're almost there

Today we had our introduction planning meeting and as with everything we have experience throughout this process it was a total roller coaster   To see the next few weeks of our lives marked out in black and white was really something.  In the room was us, our girl's foster parents and a (surprisingly large) number of social workers.  As we discussed what was to come I was totally filled with a million different emotions.  It didn't help that I could tell that our girl's foster mother was looking quite emotional too.  I couldn't even look at her half the time.  The lead social worker was so good, and thanked both foster parents for the care they had given our girl, which was made me even more emotional.  In the words of Whitney Houston, 'I get so emotional baby!'.

The only down side from today's meeting was that we had expected our first meeting with our girl to be next week but due to diary constraints it has to be delayed for another week.  We are so used to delays now that we have adopted (no pun intended) the glass half full approach.  So we have to wait another week! It's only a week and then we get to meet our girl for the first time.  And at lest we know know when she will be home with us and we can begin to be a family.  She should by now have the book we made for her and hopefully she would have seen us for the first time.  I hope she likes what she sees.

We got our Matching Certificates today.  I handed it in at work which basically confirms that I will be going off on adoption leave.  I've also confirmed my last day at work which is only a couple of weeks away.  The amazing thing is that we've known what could/would be coming for over a year but now it's here it's so hard to take in.  Yet again, the emotions are taking over!

Finally the old car is gone and the new 'family' car is in it's place and on Sunday we pick up a car seat from a friend.  It's going to be such a odd feeling driving in the car with a child seat but no child in it.  With our 'glass half full' approach at least we know the child to fill the seat is not far away.

The pieces are finally fitting together

Today was a pretty amazing day!!!

We had our second approval panel in 8 weeks.  This time it was to be matched to little one.  Despite there being much more riding on this panel we weren't as nervous as out last panel, but don't be fooled into thinking we weren't nervous.  I can tell you, we were nervous!  We had a better idea of what to expect but ultimately this was a bunch of people telling us we could or couldn't become parents to little one!

The panel, made up of the lovely chair-lady and a few other faces we remembered from last time, grilled us slightly and then sent us out into the waiting room.  Only a few minutes later the lovely chair-lady came into waiting room to deliver the verdict.  She cracked and wide smile and said "The answer, of course, is Yes!!"  Apparently it was a unanimous decision!

We were both totally overwhelmed, and excited, and happy, and relieved and hopefully.

It's hard to think that of all of the people we met at our prep group in January this year, we are the first to actually be matched to a child.  More importantly it's hard to believe that, even despite all of the work we've put in and after all of the meetings we've sat through, we are finally on track to become dads.

So now yet another countdown begins.  Next week we have our introduction meeting to discuss how, when and where we will begin to connect with our child.  I like saying that, 'our child'.  But that's what 'she' is now.  For so long we've thought about little one but know we can really think about what it will be like when she is here in a few weeks time.

Meet the foster parents

This process always has it's ups and downs but the key thing to remember is that everyone involved is working to one common goal and that is always the best interest and welfare of the child.  It's hard to stay focused on that sometimes as the selfishness of human nature means you want everything right now but it's a good thing that the professionals never let go of what really matters.

The timescales of when little one could/will be home with us have been delayed slightly but, as much of a bitter pill it was to swallow, the reasons behind such a decision make total sense in the scheme of things.  And it's not like things aren't going to happen, they'll just take a few more weeks.  And what is a few more weeks when a) we've waited this long and b) we've got the rest of our lives together?  So it won't be this Christmas, but it'll be next Christmas, and the one after that, and the one after that, and.......

We also meet with little one's foster carers this week.  It was pretty daunting but they were a lovely couple and made us feel very much at ease.  We've read so much about little one and seen gorgeous photos and a very informative DVD but nothing measured up to seeing the people that have cared for little one for so long talk so openly and lovingly about little one's development, habits, personality and energy.  You could tell just how much affection they have for little one, it was very moving but great to see.  I hope those bonds are recreated with us.

The bedroom is coming along.  The first bed didn't work so we bought another.  That bed was totally wrong (internet purchase!!) so now we are on our third bed.  This one is a winner.  We've started to decorate the room too.  We're also putting together a book for little one.  It'll have picture of us and the dog, little's one room (once it ready), family, friends, places we'll take her etc.  Hopefully it'll give little one an insight into who we are.  I hope little one likes what they see!