Countdown to matching panel

So, we've had confirmation that there is one more hurdle to leap before the pieces of the puzzle are put together. In a months time we will facing the panel yet again but this time to be matched with our little one.  It's hard to believe how close this is, how real this is becoming.

Next week we meet little one's foster carers.  I'm expecting it to be an emotional meeting, for them as much as us.  They have invested so much into little one, how will they feel about meeting the people who will potential be replacing them.  On the plus side they will be able to tell us so much about little one.  They are the ones who know her best.

Little one's bedroom is coming on very slowly although I'm sure that over the next few weeks the pace will pick up a bit.  Every now and then we pop out and come back with a few new pieces.  Today we finally collected the bed our friend gave us.  I imagine it won't actually be put together for a little while yet.  We also got some gorgeous material which D is going to make into curtains, he's a more versatile man than I.

So it 4 weeks and counting till the big decision and probably six weeks until little one is home IF all goes according to plan! Can you believe??

Yay! Finally approved!

Well, it's taken slightly more than 9 days to get the official word but we finally got it today and we are 100% approved!  Woo hoo!!!

The lead up to Approval panel was a daunting experience but the moment the recommendation was delivered we were flooded with joy and relief!  A massive thank you goes to our social worker, her team and our friends who got us through what was a stressful and nerve racking period.  We can't believe that the assessment period is over and we are now massively excited about what is to come.

You may have noticed that it's been a while since my last post.  Up until recently it has been very therapeutic to be able to write my feelings down but in the last month or so it has been hard to get them straight in my own head.  Not because they were bad, or because we were having second thoughts but because there we sooo many thoughts they were hard to untangle.  Although things were always 'looking good' there was always an element of doubt which really play with your head.

The good thing now is that the assessment and approval panel are behind us and we are extremely lucky to be considering one potential match which if all goes to plan 'could' be our child.  Little one is really becoming a reality.  We have one more panel to go, matching panel at the end of November, and then we are one step closer to meeting little one.  In the last few weeks we've been looking at pre-schools, playgroups, bed, toys and the list goes on.  It's all so close we can almost touch it.  Can't wait until the day we can hug it too.

Not long to go

I can't believe that in just nine days time we will know if we have been approved as adopters!!  After all these months and months, of what seems like an eternity, we will know if we have been progressed to the next stage.

It's been a interesting few weeks with, in hindsight, lots of activity.  And lots of welcome activity.  There have been meetings, courses and readings.  We've been lucky enough to have some really interesting and insightful conversations with a handful of different people and are both feeling positive and hopeful.  We even painted the spare room today and got rid of the old double bed that was in there.  It looks like such a different room now, not at all like the room it was at the start of this process.

So, at this very moment in 9 days time it'll either tears of joy or tears and tantrums.  Either way, there will be tears.

It's a waiting game

So after the heady excitement of a couple of weeks ago we seem to be in a bit of a no-mans land.  No more excitement, no visual movement, no nothing.  We've had a couple of emails from our SW but nothing to write home about.

On Thursday our SW's boss is coming over for a '2nd opinion visit'.  I don't really have any idea what it involves but I'm guessing she'll be taking about our PAR, which hopefully should have been completed by then, and asking us any other questions she might have.  Luckily she has been to our home before so she should, fingers crossed, see all the changes we have implemented.  Let's hope she's proud!

On this very day, in exactly four weeks time, we will find out if we have been approved or not.
Four weeks.
"Not long to go", I hear you cry but in this process four weeks is like an eternity, especially with the prospect of our little one already waiting around the corner.
Four weeks.
Four long drawn out weeks with nothing to do but watch the clock.
Four weeks.
Not long when you consider we first started looking into this process 20 months ago. But then again four weeks is only the next barrier/hurdle we have to face.  Once that is out of the way the real waiting begins!

The last assessment visit

So that is it, for this stage anyway!!!  Yesterday we had the last of our assessment meetings with our social worker.  We won't be seeing her for another six week until we go to Approval Panel.  In that time she'll be writing up our PAR (Prospective Adopter's Report) and no doubt sending us countless emails to clarify bits of information we've spoken about over the last six months.  In fact, I've just got off the phone to her.

There seems to be lots of action going off in the background and things seem to be moving pretty fast so who knows what we'll be faced with next.  Can we really be as close to the end as it feels?  Can it be possible that we have already seen our little one??

Well that was a surprise!!!

Well, you could have knocked us both over sideways!

We had our penultimate meeting with our SW today and we knew it was going to be a tough one.  Not only were we both tired (long working days for both of us) but we were going to be going over our finances.  I had not been looking forward to it but in actual fact, that part wasn't that bad.

Our SW is really pushing us now as we are coming to the end of the assessment and she has always said that she wants us to be prepared and  today it became clear why.
In mid conversation she pulled out a stash of papers which included the advert-style profiles of three children the family finding team already have in mind for us.  You should have seen us when she gave us the papers.  It was like we'd been told we'd won the lotto, total shock and surprise.  It was certainly not what we were expecting, not tonight anyway.

Yet again, it's another stage where things become more real than they have ever been.  Suddenly we're  no longer talking about kids in care, we are talking about real children, with real names and real wants.  It's crazy to think that we may have already seen the face of our little one.

If we have seen you're face for the first time little one, we can't wait to meet you in person.  But who knows what the future holds in store, we may not have found you yet in which case we'll just keep on looking!

We're getting there

Isn't funny how time races away from you when life is busy?  Even at the moment, we don't even have a little one to run around after, but there never seems to be enough time.  I meant to write an entry last weekend but I suppose it's better late than never!!!

Last Saturday we met up with some of the member of our prep group in Central London.  It was the first time we'd seen any of them since the workshops finished in February although we've mostly stayed in contact via email.  I don't think anyone knew how it would go as, in reality, we didn't really know each other but the conversation flowed easily and it was really interesting hearing about everyone's process and experiences.  I really bonded with L, even at prep group, and now that we learned that we will be sharing our social worker there is an even stronger bond.  It was great to be able to share some of the things we have experienced with her and let her know our thoughts about our social worker.  Luckily, our thoughts were good ones and compared with some of the experiences the others have had we were in an excellent position.  And talking of positions, it appears that we are further into the process than anyone else.  Now I know this isn't a race (if anything this is the hardcore training before the long race) but to have people who are in the exact same boat smile at you and say, "You could be the first to be placed with a child" was quite something.  I had to use all the will power I had just to stop myself from getting too excited.
I also enjoyed chatting with J & A.  A is a funny fella and has lots of similar ideas( wacky as they may be) to me.  We also learnt that one prep group couple had decide not to proceed with the adoption.  It just goes to show that this process isn't for everyone, only those who are really determined. 


On a lighter note, we had a trip to IKEA on Sunday and bought a new wardrobe so we could start to clear out the spare room for little one.  Whilst there we ticked a few things off our 'health and safety list' as provided by our social worker and bought a Sun light-shade, the first step on transforming the spare room into a kiddies room.