The pieces are finally fitting together

Today was a pretty amazing day!!!

We had our second approval panel in 8 weeks.  This time it was to be matched to little one.  Despite there being much more riding on this panel we weren't as nervous as out last panel, but don't be fooled into thinking we weren't nervous.  I can tell you, we were nervous!  We had a better idea of what to expect but ultimately this was a bunch of people telling us we could or couldn't become parents to little one!

The panel, made up of the lovely chair-lady and a few other faces we remembered from last time, grilled us slightly and then sent us out into the waiting room.  Only a few minutes later the lovely chair-lady came into waiting room to deliver the verdict.  She cracked and wide smile and said "The answer, of course, is Yes!!"  Apparently it was a unanimous decision!

We were both totally overwhelmed, and excited, and happy, and relieved and hopefully.

It's hard to think that of all of the people we met at our prep group in January this year, we are the first to actually be matched to a child.  More importantly it's hard to believe that, even despite all of the work we've put in and after all of the meetings we've sat through, we are finally on track to become dads.

So now yet another countdown begins.  Next week we have our introduction meeting to discuss how, when and where we will begin to connect with our child.  I like saying that, 'our child'.  But that's what 'she' is now.  For so long we've thought about little one but know we can really think about what it will be like when she is here in a few weeks time.

Meet the foster parents

This process always has it's ups and downs but the key thing to remember is that everyone involved is working to one common goal and that is always the best interest and welfare of the child.  It's hard to stay focused on that sometimes as the selfishness of human nature means you want everything right now but it's a good thing that the professionals never let go of what really matters.

The timescales of when little one could/will be home with us have been delayed slightly but, as much of a bitter pill it was to swallow, the reasons behind such a decision make total sense in the scheme of things.  And it's not like things aren't going to happen, they'll just take a few more weeks.  And what is a few more weeks when a) we've waited this long and b) we've got the rest of our lives together?  So it won't be this Christmas, but it'll be next Christmas, and the one after that, and the one after that, and.......

We also meet with little one's foster carers this week.  It was pretty daunting but they were a lovely couple and made us feel very much at ease.  We've read so much about little one and seen gorgeous photos and a very informative DVD but nothing measured up to seeing the people that have cared for little one for so long talk so openly and lovingly about little one's development, habits, personality and energy.  You could tell just how much affection they have for little one, it was very moving but great to see.  I hope those bonds are recreated with us.

The bedroom is coming along.  The first bed didn't work so we bought another.  That bed was totally wrong (internet purchase!!) so now we are on our third bed.  This one is a winner.  We've started to decorate the room too.  We're also putting together a book for little one.  It'll have picture of us and the dog, little's one room (once it ready), family, friends, places we'll take her etc.  Hopefully it'll give little one an insight into who we are.  I hope little one likes what they see!

Countdown to matching panel

So, we've had confirmation that there is one more hurdle to leap before the pieces of the puzzle are put together. In a months time we will facing the panel yet again but this time to be matched with our little one.  It's hard to believe how close this is, how real this is becoming.

Next week we meet little one's foster carers.  I'm expecting it to be an emotional meeting, for them as much as us.  They have invested so much into little one, how will they feel about meeting the people who will potential be replacing them.  On the plus side they will be able to tell us so much about little one.  They are the ones who know her best.

Little one's bedroom is coming on very slowly although I'm sure that over the next few weeks the pace will pick up a bit.  Every now and then we pop out and come back with a few new pieces.  Today we finally collected the bed our friend gave us.  I imagine it won't actually be put together for a little while yet.  We also got some gorgeous material which D is going to make into curtains, he's a more versatile man than I.

So it 4 weeks and counting till the big decision and probably six weeks until little one is home IF all goes according to plan! Can you believe??

Yay! Finally approved!

Well, it's taken slightly more than 9 days to get the official word but we finally got it today and we are 100% approved!  Woo hoo!!!

The lead up to Approval panel was a daunting experience but the moment the recommendation was delivered we were flooded with joy and relief!  A massive thank you goes to our social worker, her team and our friends who got us through what was a stressful and nerve racking period.  We can't believe that the assessment period is over and we are now massively excited about what is to come.

You may have noticed that it's been a while since my last post.  Up until recently it has been very therapeutic to be able to write my feelings down but in the last month or so it has been hard to get them straight in my own head.  Not because they were bad, or because we were having second thoughts but because there we sooo many thoughts they were hard to untangle.  Although things were always 'looking good' there was always an element of doubt which really play with your head.

The good thing now is that the assessment and approval panel are behind us and we are extremely lucky to be considering one potential match which if all goes to plan 'could' be our child.  Little one is really becoming a reality.  We have one more panel to go, matching panel at the end of November, and then we are one step closer to meeting little one.  In the last few weeks we've been looking at pre-schools, playgroups, bed, toys and the list goes on.  It's all so close we can almost touch it.  Can't wait until the day we can hug it too.

Not long to go

I can't believe that in just nine days time we will know if we have been approved as adopters!!  After all these months and months, of what seems like an eternity, we will know if we have been progressed to the next stage.

It's been a interesting few weeks with, in hindsight, lots of activity.  And lots of welcome activity.  There have been meetings, courses and readings.  We've been lucky enough to have some really interesting and insightful conversations with a handful of different people and are both feeling positive and hopeful.  We even painted the spare room today and got rid of the old double bed that was in there.  It looks like such a different room now, not at all like the room it was at the start of this process.

So, at this very moment in 9 days time it'll either tears of joy or tears and tantrums.  Either way, there will be tears.

It's a waiting game

So after the heady excitement of a couple of weeks ago we seem to be in a bit of a no-mans land.  No more excitement, no visual movement, no nothing.  We've had a couple of emails from our SW but nothing to write home about.

On Thursday our SW's boss is coming over for a '2nd opinion visit'.  I don't really have any idea what it involves but I'm guessing she'll be taking about our PAR, which hopefully should have been completed by then, and asking us any other questions she might have.  Luckily she has been to our home before so she should, fingers crossed, see all the changes we have implemented.  Let's hope she's proud!

On this very day, in exactly four weeks time, we will find out if we have been approved or not.
Four weeks.
"Not long to go", I hear you cry but in this process four weeks is like an eternity, especially with the prospect of our little one already waiting around the corner.
Four weeks.
Four long drawn out weeks with nothing to do but watch the clock.
Four weeks.
Not long when you consider we first started looking into this process 20 months ago. But then again four weeks is only the next barrier/hurdle we have to face.  Once that is out of the way the real waiting begins!

The last assessment visit

So that is it, for this stage anyway!!!  Yesterday we had the last of our assessment meetings with our social worker.  We won't be seeing her for another six week until we go to Approval Panel.  In that time she'll be writing up our PAR (Prospective Adopter's Report) and no doubt sending us countless emails to clarify bits of information we've spoken about over the last six months.  In fact, I've just got off the phone to her.

There seems to be lots of action going off in the background and things seem to be moving pretty fast so who knows what we'll be faced with next.  Can we really be as close to the end as it feels?  Can it be possible that we have already seen our little one??