Saturday 11 February 2012

One step closer!

Under certain circumstances I refuse to let the grass grow under my feet, and this process is one of those circumstances.  At prep group we were told that we would find out who our social worker was by Friday.  Having not heard anything mid Friday afternoon I took it upon myself to make the call and was greeted with the brilliant news that we had been allocated our social.  Unfortunately she'd been on annual leave which is probably the reason they hadn't been in touch.

When the social worker (let's call them 'G') gets in touch we'll get together to review the prep group and look ahead to the long assessment period that sits in front of us.  The assessment always has the reputation of being like an interrogation from a black and white war movie.  Is this really what it's going to be like?  I hope not but only time will tell.

We now have an email contact group for the members of the prep group, somewhat like an on-line NCT group.  It'll be really interesting to hear about everyone's progress.

Each milestone in this journey just makes everything feel more real and means we really could be parents fairly soon.  It's funny how things change, at the moment the TV programmes we are watching are 'One Born Every Minute' (although thank god neither one of us will have to give birth, and 'Protecting Our Children' which is about a team of child care social workers.  A new programme called 'Daddy Day Car' starts this week.  I'll be watching that with a notepad!!

Sunday 5 February 2012

The end of Prep Group

So, day 2, 3 and 4 of Prep Group have been and gone and now we are just waiting to find out which social working we have been allocated and the 'interrogation' will begin ernest.

Day one of Prep Group was a little 'stale' for want of a better word but the following 3 days were emotional and thought provoking and at one point almost everyone in the room was close to, if not, in tears.
We discussed topics such as attachment, grief and loss, child development and contact with birth parents.  It's amazing, all these things that you don't even have to consider when you're having a child by natural means.  Contact (where by the birth parents stay in touch with the child and/or adoptive parents either face to face or by letter/card a couple of times a year) was an issue for quite a few of us but it's fair to say that by the end of the four days we were all in no doubt that if contact works, it really is in the best interest of the child.
We had talks from a lady who was adopted as a child, a woman who is an adoptive parent and a birth mother who gave her child up for adoption.  The birth mother gave such an emotional talk and it was clear that although she gave her child up 20 years there isn't a day she doesn't think about him.  It added a level of sympathy I never thought I'd feel for someone who had given their child up.  It made me realise that I want our child to have all the information he/she needs to feel whole.
No matter what, our child will know that they are loved beyond measure.

Roll on Friday, we'll find out who our social worker is and hopefully we'll gel as there is lots o work to do.  Fingers crossed.

On another note I've restarted my reading with kids.  I now have a lovely little fella called Jacob.  He's only six but he reads really well.  His attention span is very short though and when I'm reading with him I can't help wondering how I would be if this was my child.  Knowing that our child may have not be as good a reader as Jacob has made me think about how I would parent and react to his distracting techniques.  It's all very interesting as so many things now seem to be about how I will react in the future.

But only time will tell.  Let's just hope it's not too much time!